Stupid Stuff
by Science2005
Summary: Just something a friend had me do...it's kind of funny...I don't know, you don't have to read it. The avatars try to take over the world basically.
1. Default Chapter

Halliwell Manor: Morning 

It was another normal day at Halliwell manor.(Then again, do they even have a normal day there?) Piper had been up all night watching the kids and since she hadn't felt overly tired decided to cook breakfast as she always does, being the only proper lady of the house. Phoebe strutted into the kitchen wearing very revealing clothing.

Phoebe: Yo ho Piper! What's cooking?

Piper: Did **you **just call me a ho?

Phoebe chose to ignore this comment and decided to walk out of the kitchen

Piper: Hey! Where'd you think you are going?

Phoebe: Work ofcourse!

Piper: In that clothing! Aren't you supposed to look professional?

Phoebe: Well I heard there was a new man they hired at the newspaper, so I am going to have to have sex with him on Elise's desk.

Piper: Ah....well aren't you going to eat?

Phoebe: No! I'm late again! I am so fired!

Phoebe ran out of the kitchen, her "fun bags" bouncing up and down.

At this point Paige walked into the kitchen being as perky as usual.

Paige: Good morning Piper! Sorry I can't have any breakfast, but I have some midterms to fill out at Magic School! See ya!

Paige orbed out in a cloud of swirly blue golfballs as Phoebe described them. She wasn't overly smart and always had balls on her mind for some reason.

At this point Leo walked in.

Piper: Don't you dare say anything about how you have to go somewhere! I cook for this family, and you are going to eat damn it!

Leo: But..

Piper: No! I don't care if you are hearing those voices again or if you have issues! You know us! If something paranormal bothers us it is always best to just ignore it, since that has always worked so well for us in the past!

Leo: But..

Piper: No! I do not have your wrinkle cream.

Leo: But..

Piper: Do you want me to blow your testicles up?

Leo: So, what's for breakfast?

Piper: That's more like it.

**meanwhile in the Avatars Lair of Doom and Gloom**

Alpha: The witches are as vulnerable as ever now. They are all insecure. This Phoebe seems to be having problems at her job.

Beta: She also badly needs to look into some arm wax.

Zeta: I think we all agree Phoebe is the weakest sister...she is the most easily seduced into evil. We are talking about the former Queen of the Underworld afterall. Before Hecate that is.

Beta: Well everybody just forgot about Hecate, didn't they? She was so 6 years ago!

Zeta: Enough of this! We need to seduce Phoebe to the dark side. Shouldn't be too hard to seduce her.

Alpha: We will need the Shadow to assist us in this.

Beta: That's my area of expertise. **morphs into Cole** Now I shall be Bole.

Zeta: Most excellent. I will go around and torment Leo some more with my floaty head. **shimmers out**

Beta **shimmers out**

Alpha: Everything is coming together. Our plan to take over the universe again shall soon be complete! Mwahahahahahahahahaha!

**cut to Bole**

Bole walks into Halliwell manor.

Piper: Whoa! What the hell are you doing here Cole? We like vanquished on fingers 7 times. Why the hell won't you just stay dead!?!? **flings out hands**

**bits of Bole blow up and then come back together again**

Piper: Oh crap. My exploding power is so worthless now.

Bole: Uh hi Piper. Don't worry about me, even if I may be acting strange you are all so stupid and can't even notice it. Pay no attention to me being back.

Piper: Sorry Cole. I'm the smart sister....in theory. Anyway, go away before I call my sisters to come and vanquish you again.

Bole: Not going to happen Piper.

Piper: Why the hell not?

Bole: Well....you know at first I was just a demon who could only be banished, then I was human, then I was the Source, then I was invincible, then I was human, then I was an Avatar, then I'm the Source....until that pesky Paige intervened and vanquished me in that alternate reality which you aren't even supposed to know about. Damn I talk too much.

Piper: Yeah....want some breakfast?

Bole: Wuh?


	2. Of Bole, Phoebe, and Leo

Stupid Stuff Part Two 

**Author note** Sorry for not updating in a while! I've just been busy with school and I kind of thought the first chapter was stupid, but since people like it I will go with it. It's going to be kind of AU from now on-All of the events through Something Wicca This Way Comes and Once in a Blue Moon have occurred. Everything else that happens after those episodes won't be true to the actual show. The Avatars are evil in this version. Anyway, thank you for your patronage. Have any suggestions AIM me at bored2317, send me an e-mail at , or contact me through MSN Messenger: 

Bole: Piper, I really don't want any more food.

Piper: Nonsense. Here, have some pancakes.

Bole: Piper.....

Piper: Eat the pancakes, damn it! **Slams plate with a stack of about 20 pancakes and syrup on table**

Bole: **whimpers** Yes Ma'am.

Piper turns around to wash some dishes. Bole waves his arm and the pancakes disappear.

Bole: All done.

Piper: Now it's time for your dessert.

Bole: Desert? With breakfast?

Piper: Yes! Desert with breakfast! Why the hell is it so hard for people to comprehend that they can have desert with breakfast! **Blows table up**

Bole shouts out and falls to the ground. Piper immediately starts flinging out her hands as various sensitive body parts of his blow up and come back together. Eventually Bole shimmers out crying.

Piper: Hmmph. Ungrateful demon.

**Cut to the Bay Mirror**

Phoebe is reading a letter.

Dear Phoebe,

Hi. You may not have heard of me. I'm Alyssa Milano, an actress on a hit TV show on the WB. Anyway, several fans of the show seem to think the character I portray is....self centered and egocentric. Do you think this is true? Watch the WB on Sunday in the evening and tell me what you think.

A confused Actress.

Phoebe jumped up and down in joy and wrote a reply:

Dear Alyssa,

I definitely don't think so. The character you portray is a very very wonderful person, with the best fashion sense and the best taste in men! It looks as if she has never been to McDonalds...food is so horrid, it adds _weight _to a person. It is just so horrible. I think we should all worship her. Her older sister is such a martyr and needs to lighten up. A suggestion of mine though is there should be more scenarios where you try to get her in as little clothing as possible.

Sincerely,

Phoebe Halliwell

Phoebe quickly ran to the outbox and deposited the letter there. She began to run back to her office but ran into Elise.

Elise: Phoebe! Bad girl! Go to your office!

Phoebe: **sniff** Yes ma'am.

**cut to magic school**

Paige is walking through the hallway reading a HP book.

Paige: Wow. This Magic School certainly seems a lot like Hogwarts......JKR must be ripping this place off!

Mrs. Winterbourne runs up: Paige! Glad I found you. Wyatt has went on a rampage again....he orbed out to another country I think.

Paige: Oh don't worry.....we always let him use magic and risk exposure and never tell him it's wrong.....hard to believe he turns evil in the future, isn't it?

Mrs. Winterbourne: Err...whatever.... **walks off**

Paige: **sigh** I have a sudden urge to meet Prue about now. **gets idea**

Meanwhile Leo is running around in circles on top of the Golden Gate Bridge while being chased by a floating head.

Leo: Leave me alone! AHH! **falls off and is too stupid to orb, hits ground**

Leo: Ouchies....gets ran over multiple times while the floating head hovers above him laughing

Leo sees Phoebe running towards him. Her fun bags are bouncing up and down.

Leo: The horror! No! Make it stop! Please! Oh make it stop! AHH! MAKE IT STOP!!!!!! **cries while Phoebe drags him off of the bridge, at which point they accidentally fall and plunge into the water below. Leo is still too stupid to orb them out**

Meanwhile Piper is chasing Bole throughout the house.

Piper: All you had to do was not question the damn dessert!

Bole: I'm sorry. I'll be good...but please, don't hurt me....

Piper: Will you never question me again?

Bole:...no mommy.

Piper: Very well then...now fix the table! **points to kitchen**

Bole walks to kitchen, head hanging down while muttering under his breath.

Piper: What was that!?

Bole: Nothing!


End file.
